Poo Mining

The Japanese are once again putting us to shame in the realm of doing more with less.

Two days ago, sewage plant operator Nagano Prefecture Suwa Construction Office announced that approximately 4.2 pounds of gold can be mined from each ton of molten fly ash generated when incinerating sludge at its facility in the town of Suwa. And it has actually proven profitable. In their first month of poo mining, Nagano Prefecture filtered out $56,000 worth of gold.

Now, you're probably saying to yourself, We have poo. Where's our gold? Excellent question. There is no time better than during an economic recession to begin searching for alternative sources of income.

Please contact your Congressperson and tell them that you want America to start poo mining today. (Click here to find out who represents you.)


Via Pink Tentacle.

Tom Thumb Weddings

Reading Robertson Davies' The Manticore on the train this morning, I stumbled upon this gem:

"A Tom Thumb Wedding is a mock nuptial ceremony in which all the participants are children, and the delight of it is its miniature quality."

The two pages that follow describe a Tom Thumb Wedding in detail. I was immediately intrigued and did a bit of research.

According to this excellent article, the tradition began with the "real" Tom Thumb, a little person named Charles Stratton (b. 1838) who at the age of four became an entertainer with the Ringling Brothers Barnum and Bailey Circus, and in 1863 married a dwarf named Lavinia Warren (pictured right). It was a highly publicized and lavish wedding.

Ever since, Americans have been staging their own Tom Thumb Weddings, with children standing in for the bride and groom, and the entire wedding party (as pictured above). In many places, Tom Thumb Weddings have evolved into amazingly successful community fund-raising events.

The good news, of course, is that in the future, because the population will be two feet smaller, every wedding will be a Tom Thumb Wedding. In other words, cha-ching! Never again will a father-of-the-bride need to shell out thousands. On the contrary, the first under-four-feet generation will be a true cash cow. Another unforeseen benefit of Project Live Small.